She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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