you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You made out with two different species that night
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize