just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
