I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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