ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
