don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
