your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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