Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
