We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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