I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
