Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
