i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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