Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
