just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
