This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
sex in a hospital.. check
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize
