pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize