I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
