Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
