I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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