Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
