ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
