remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
