I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
