so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
