My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
