i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
