I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
