Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
