Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
