I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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