I should be sponsored by Trojan
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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