Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
