it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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