when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
