Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
