If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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