I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
