Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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