I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize