Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
