I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
