I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
