good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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