we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
