Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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