Cold hands, warm shart.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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