My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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