she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
