guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
