you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you would pick up someone in the library
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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