She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He shit in the fireplace
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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