Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
