i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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