no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
