i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
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