I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm both gender and math confused
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
