apparently the secret to your success is patron
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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