After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
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Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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