I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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