sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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