She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
