you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
