I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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