just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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