we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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