i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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