I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
we're so committed to being not committed
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
