I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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