For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
