She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
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I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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