She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
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It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
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Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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