and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
