stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
